color blind test

The Color Blind Test.

dinner

Free dinner, if you’re fast enough to hit it

drugs

If this is the kind of “drug prevention” stuff my tax dollar is going to, Uncle Sam and I need to have a talk…

fellowship passing through

The Fellowship is passing through.  Don’t hit the hobbits.  The Elf is fair game.

drunk driving

Please drive as if you’re drunk.

old suicide jokes

The “Chicken Cross the Road” joke is actually a metaphor about suicides.  Suddenly this sign, and all chicken jokes, have become morbid….and 50% funnier.

warning christians ahead

Caution: Christians ahead.

SLIDES

OMG!! SLIDES!?!?  PULL OVER!

personal space issues

Please feel free to scare other drivers by invading their personal space.

Deer crossing sign in Idaho.

These signs are always such a letdown.  25 years, and I have yet to see a reindeer.  Maybe they only come out at night…

flying bikes

E.T. is in the area.  Watch your heads.

flying people ahead

Keeping with the flying motif: holy floating humans, Batman.

trucks driving backwards

Caution: some truckers are insane enough to drive uphill BACKWARDS.

end road work

Quite possibly the oddest protest sign I’ve ever seen.

end mowing

…I stand corrected.

matadors ahead

Matadors ahead.

mario kart

Mario Kart track ahead.  Prepare your mushrooms.

motorcycles

We call that statement declarative, concise, and total bull$h!t.

for all you liberals

The Tea-Party takes this to heart.

liberals

Meanwhile, the media…

workers digging

People burying bodies ahead.  You didn’t see anything.  Just keep driving.  That’s right, move along.

lets not go there

Let’s…just not go there.

laws of physics

Please feel free to break the laws of physics.

 

All jesting aside, driving is a dangerous action.  A car weights about a ton, give or take, and can crush a human being no problem.  Being inside a car does not make us invincible, and the safeties put into a car are called safeties for a reason.

We all know the rules of safe driving, so I’m not going to write them down.  As risky as it is, I’m trusting that you’re not as dumb as you act.

Drive as if everyone else on the road is an idiot (you’ll find this to be a truth anyways, so might as well be prepared for it).

Most of all, don’t be a fool.  Driving is a privilege and the right to be behind a wheel should be earned through respect of the road, of the vehicle, and of your own capabilities.

So, don’t be that idiot on the road that I have to hate on because you don’t know what you’re doing.

 

Message is this:

drive responsibly

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