1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at every passing car and see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a straight face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work place and play tropical sounds all day.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot and scream "Run for your lives! They’re loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".

20. And the final way to keep your insanity, send this to your friends to make them smile and laugh. It’s called therapy!

 

Have a great day, in accordance with the prophesy.

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